My Goal

A year and a half into this role as "pastor" I'm learning to articulate my role better.

I'm not a "quivering mass of availability."
I'm not an executive director of a non profit.
I'm not a preacher.
I'm not a missionary.
I'm not a saint.

I'm a child of God and my role/my profession is to create and hold space for people to connect to the divine. 

I say it is my role, when really it is my goal, my "calling" in church-speak.

This goal sometimes manifests itself in being available to others and sometimes it means functioning much like a non profit director. Weekly it means opening the word and proclaiming the gospel. Daily it means thinking outside myself and my community to connect with others and address real needs.

Clarifying this role and my goal has redirected my own energy to connecting with the divine. In my long "to do" lists my goal is no longer to complete the tasks, but to create and hold space for connect to the divine. Thus, my "tasks" of organizing worship, facilitating small groups and maintaining communication are not to grow the church community. It's not at all about numbers, it's about the connection. Connection with God and with each other. Every thing I do is to create and hold space to connect with the divine.

My coach, Jeannie, has been so great to help me better articulate this part of my identity and I'm grateful. The more I can clarify my goal and purpose in life and in ministry...hopefully, the better I will be able to live it out!

Fairness and Grace

Last night, a small group from Mission Bay Community Church met in my home to eat dinner and study the biblical story of two sisters - Mary and Martha.

You can find the whole story here: Luke 10:38-42. The basic storyline is that Jesus comes to visit their house and one sister Mary sits at his feet and listens while the other sister Martha is busy cleaning the house and providing hospitably to Jesus. When Martha complains to Jesus that Mary is not helping her, Jesus tells her to stop worrying and busying herself. He says Mary has chosen the "better part" by listening to him.

It's a beautiful and important reminder to put Jesus first and for all of us busy/productive people to slow down and prioritize. It also doesn't seem fair. Martha was doing all the things culturally expected of her to prepare for and value the guest and Mary just sat there.

We want Jesus to be concerned with fairness. And yet, Jesus concerns himself with grace.

The more we talked about the story, the more other stories like this came to mind - the story of the Prodigal Son, the Workers who worked different amounts and yet all were paid the same, Jesus's persecution and suffering.... you know, none of those stories seem very fair either.

Perhaps it is our expectations for what we define as "justice" or "fair" that are the problem.
Perhaps our feelings of entitlement and desire for recognition get in the way of our being good people and sharing God's justice and grace.

I left our small group knowing I need to resist my tendency to compare, criticize and want my fair share in order to give and receive grace and love. In order to really put God first.

10 Ways To Share Faith With Children

Sharing our faith with others can be hard. Sharing our faith with children who are at a different developmental stage than us can seem really hard. Here are a few simple ways to reach out to children and share your faith with them. 

(1) Pray with them.
Help them know God is available to them anytime through prayer. Pray out loud together, encouraging them to pray, too.

(2) Read scripture together.
They'll notice if you read your Bible and they'll want to do the same. Set time aside to read a Children's Bible together.

(3) Worship together.
Children learn by observing those around them. Help them know what to expect next in worship and get them involved in the music and the prayers. Make sure they have a front row seat and can observe all that is happening around them.

(4) Be honest about life and death.
Young children are concrete thinkers. They see bugs die and grieve over pets that die. Share with them that death is a natural part of life.

(5) Welcome questions as they grow.
Children are wonderfully curious! Encourage their questions and explore answers together.

(6) Model Jesus' love in action. 
Take children with you to serve the community. Bring them to care for others in the community. Help them see what it means to love others as Jesus loves them.

(7) Reassure your child that God's love is unconditional.
The song "Jesus Loves Me" says it well: "Jesus loves me when I'm good, when I do the things I should. Jesus loves me when I'm bad though it makes him very sad."

(8) Don't try to correct them.
Children experience God in all sorts of beautiful ways. Their understanding of God will change as they develop. Ask what they think about God and explore the mystery together. They may even have something to teach you!

(9) Allow them to notice the injustice in the world.
Our world is an unfair place. Allow children to notice the unfairness and talk together about how we can help. Pray together about the injustice they see.

(10) Pray for them.
This is the most important. Pray for the children in your household, in your community, in the world. Pray that God might work through you to share Christ's love with them.

*Written with LOTS of help from my mom, Rev. Dr. Genie Martin, who has a huge heart for children in the church.

measuring seasons, measuring change

The weather is amazing in San Francisco. 50-70 degrees just about all the time. Pretty perfect. Only one wardrobe needed. I love it.

The only downside of this weather is that it gets hard to measure the seasons.

I grew up in the mountains of North Carolina where seasons gave form to our lives. They gave us a rhythm by which we knew what to expect next. Change was welcome because it wasn't TOO new, we experienced similar change last year and the year before. We knew that spring brought showers and flowers, summer brought mosquitos, humidity and thunderstorms, in fall the leaves would turn brown and fall to the ground and in winter the air would become brisk and snow and ice were due.

Now in San Francisco, I'm depending on other means of measuring the seasons.

Sports, for one. I know it's fall when football is on our television ALL.the.TIME. And then when it shifts to college basketball, I know we're into winter. Spring and Summer are dedicated to baseball…though I admit we don't watch it as much as football and basketball.

Food and coffee are another way to measure seasons. I love pumpkin and so I really love fall. I know it is the fall season in SF when the coffee shops bust out their pumpkin spice. Then there is a big shift right before thanksgiving to winter holiday themes (gingerbread, caramel, peppermint).

There are certainly seasons in my line of work. Sometimes they are tied to the church calendar (advent, christmas, lent, easter, "ordinary" time). Though, most times I find they are unpredictable. A wave of new folks coming in, a wave of folks moving out. Passions and excitements for projects and movements that wax and wane. I'll admit it's a little unsettling and still takes me by surprise sometimes when the change occurs, though the change itself isn't bad. I'm ready for the "seasoning" that comes with more experience leading an organization where I can take these seasons in stride and even anticipate the next one to come. But for now, my rookie self will just enjoy the ride.

It's probably good for me to get used to surprises in shifting seasons. Helps me to let go of control I don't really have anyhow.

bring them in without burning them out

Volunteers are amazing. Period.

Especially for organizations like the church I lead, where volunteers really make it possible for us to be viable.

I've been thinking a lot recently about how to create space for volunteers, how to engage new volunteers, and how to facilitate expectations and fair loads. In other words, how to "bring them in without burning them out."

My goal is to help those who volunteer to identify their passions and their gifts and then connect them to opportunities where those passions meet the needs in the community. What I'm learning is that there are some pretty talented people out there with LOTS of passions and great ideas. My connection time is short and the limitation is usually time. How do we as an organization make the connections smoothly and (here goes my boundaries awareness again) how do we practice saying "no" so that the load doesn't become too much for any one person?

If only people weren't so awesome with so many talents, right?  :)

The organization has needs, too. Consistency and Commitment. There are things that have to get done "the nitty gritty" to keep the mission alive. Sustainability of the organization is an ongoing pressure I feel as we want to honor the movements of passions, dreams and new ideas.

As I'm thinking about this I'm curious what resources are already out there?

What creative approaches are you using either in your own discernment of how you volunteer your time or as a leader of an organization that depends on volunteers?

Looking forward to learning from you - the community that reads this - to learn how to better enable and support our volunteers. Thanks (in advance) for your help!

Boundaries

"No" was a word that didn't really exist in my vocabulary. Particularly in response to being asked to do something social or service oriented or that I thought I "ought" to do.

The word "no" entered my vocabulary in seminary, when a dear friend Leslie reminded me I'm not superwoman and shouldn't expect myself to do everything. I have limitations. I need self care. I need boundaries. Say "no," she said.

I didn't realize boundaries were such a major theme in my life until recently. I was talking with my coach about situations in my life and current ministry where I felt like a line had been crossed, I felt manipulated, guilted into doing something, I felt like people were requiring too much of me. And then I realized, I can say "no." I can define a boundary that makes sense for me, for my family, and for the church.

It's a hard thing to move from a place of always saying "yes" to others, always putting the needs of others above your own to a place of creating safe and clear boundaries in which my own needs are respected and valued. In my line of work, sometimes it can even feel wrong. I'm supposed to be super available, always giving, practically Jesus. Wait, no, no I'm not.

As a person of faith, I am called to reach out to others. I'm to share good news and speak truth in love. I'm also to be prayerful, centered, full. As a church, we are to reach out, share good news, comfort, love, challenge injustice. And we are also called to recognize our limits and work within them. None of us, individuals or collectives, are called to do it all.


Boundaries are a hard thing to figure out. Not all boundaries are good. In fact, I'd argue that some of the lines churches and people draw are unfair and hurtful. Still, some boundaries are good and necessary, especially when they are intentional and loving....set for the purpose of building care, safety, and love.

Jeannie, my coach, said often when we pray for patience God doesn't give us patience, God gives us lots of opportunities to practice patience. So. True. I know as I'm more aware, more prayerful, more intentional about desiring boundaries that are healthy and safe and good...I will be presented with many opportunities to practice these boundaries.

So, if you hear me say "no," please don't take it personally. I need to. If I don't pick up the phone or answer your email right away, know I still care about you. I just might be sleeping (no joke, I've been known to sleep 14 hours in a day to catch up), or outside running without my phone in hand, or lost in a good book or ridiculous T.V. sitcom. Know I'm not saying "no" to hurt you. I'm saying "no" to help me.

I don't anticipate this being an easy journey, but I am excited about it.
I'm ready for it.

doubts and stouts

It still kind of surprises me that 10-15 people show up each month curious to talk about some controversial/theological issue. It reminds me how hungry people are for a connection, for some understanding about who God is and how God is at work in our lives.

Last night we met to talk about the doctrine of election. Predestination - the belief that God predestines some to heaven and some to hell. Over the years, predestination has given Presbyterians a bad rap. In corny church-culture jokes, we're sometimes called the "frozen chosen." Now, gathered with actual church folk I was surprised to learn that they hadn't really heard about this belief through the church, only through history books. It seems our church is so shocked (or shamed) by the stigma that we don't teach about it anymore.

As always, there were more questions raised than possible solutions and as I know this is frustrating to some, it's quite beautiful for me. As Sarah Miles writes in her book Take This Bread, we are perhaps called to be "the personal and institutional capacity to dwell in the ambiguity and unsettledness."

Many of us were uncomfortable with the belief that God chooses some and not others. We struggled with the continuous tension between God's sovereign character (all powerful, all loving, always present) and our own free will.

We did find grace though. We found comfort in knowing God has reached out to us. We found great encouragement in scripture where it is written in Ephesians 1:4 that "God chose us in Jesus Christ before the creation of the world." We found some solace in 20th c. reformed theologian Karl Barth's thoughts who said that Jesus was both the Elect and the Rejected and that through him all are invited to know God. We felt more comfortable with God choosing all of us, granting us free will and then acknowledging that some will turn away. Also acknowledging that justice needs to be part of the equation and we don't need to play judge, but trust that God does.

All sorts of new questions came up for us: What is heaven, really? And what about hell? Are these places or spaces after death or experienced here, too? What about when Jesus talks about the kingdom coming now (on Earth) in the Lord's Prayer...

Well, stay tuned. Next month, that's exactly what we're discussing. Join us and please feel free to continue the conversation by adding your thoughts here.