Showing posts with label pastor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pastor. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

My Goal

A year and a half into this role as "pastor" I'm learning to articulate my role better.

I'm not a "quivering mass of availability."
I'm not an executive director of a non profit.
I'm not a preacher.
I'm not a missionary.
I'm not a saint.

I'm a child of God and my role/my profession is to create and hold space for people to connect to the divine. 

I say it is my role, when really it is my goal, my "calling" in church-speak.

This goal sometimes manifests itself in being available to others and sometimes it means functioning much like a non profit director. Weekly it means opening the word and proclaiming the gospel. Daily it means thinking outside myself and my community to connect with others and address real needs.

Clarifying this role and my goal has redirected my own energy to connecting with the divine. In my long "to do" lists my goal is no longer to complete the tasks, but to create and hold space for connect to the divine. Thus, my "tasks" of organizing worship, facilitating small groups and maintaining communication are not to grow the church community. It's not at all about numbers, it's about the connection. Connection with God and with each other. Every thing I do is to create and hold space to connect with the divine.

My coach, Jeannie, has been so great to help me better articulate this part of my identity and I'm grateful. The more I can clarify my goal and purpose in life and in ministry...hopefully, the better I will be able to live it out!

Monday, September 24, 2012

You're a pastor?

I'm learning a new scenario....

I meet someone in San Francisco and one of the very first questions I'm asked is what I do. "I'm a pastor," I say, "I work at a church." The second response I've added recently when I realized that "I'm a pastor" didn't answer their question enough. I needed to provide further clarification.

Now, I've seen the shocked responses to my answer from folks who are surprised that I am female and clergy. Or that I am a clergyperson and so YOUNG. But, here in San Francisco, I'm learning that the shocked response comes simply because that phrase "I'm a pastor," doesn't communicate to them. One of the next questions is "so... what do you do everyday?"

I stammer to reply with the hundreds of hats I wear... "I organize and lead worship every Sunday, I meet people in coffee shops and bars to get to know them, I visit people when they're in the hospital, I run a small organization...so I pay taxes, process payroll, bookkeeping, other admin work... I fix printers when they break.. I participate in community groups and work with the church community to do service in the community and world." I don't even go into the polity part... I participate in presbytery and moderate session meetings... that really won't communicate.

It has been interesting time and time again to articulate what I do. It reminds me how much of what I do has become "insider language" and that I need to find ways to communicate what I as pastor and we as church do in the community.

If this new acquaintance is still talking to me at this point...this is the question that usually follows: "Why did you become a pastor?" Ah, yes, because God called me. Hmmm...does that translate in the vernacular? Lemme try this: "I'm interested in public service. I thought about social work, public health,  and immigrant law in college. When I did a short internship in Guatemala in social work, I realized that I have a tendency to try to be "superwoman" and got frustrated at the end of the day when I couldn't do enough. People still went to bed with empty stomachs. I needed to work through the church because then at the end of the day I can rest fully in the hope that I don't have to be enough. God is enough. God is working through others and through this community for good. In the church, I get to share that message of hope all the time.

These recent conversations have been meaningful for me because they have brought to my attention the need for us rethink our "insider" language to be able to communicate with the rest of the world who is full of people that have never stepped foot in a church, much less a PC(USA) church. These conversations have reminded me to focus on the most basic, important questions of call: What do you do and why? I strongly believe that if we (church and pastors) do a better job of communicating who we are and what we do to the world around us, we might actually meet some of the spiritual hunger in this world. People are here, asking the same questions, "What do you do? What does that mean? Why in the world did you choose that?"

I'm doing my very best to see these new conversations as a gift to share God's glory, hope, and love with the hungry and broken world around me instead of this bizarre barrier that sets me apart from those around me. Feeling more and more like the Early Church in Acts that has to continually explain themselves to the world around them than the institutionalized power "the church" that was known by all.